“I did scratch-ed my arm”, the tearful wee voice of my five-year old patient lamented.

“You did?” I answered, as I strained to see the minute mark on the proffered arm.

“Oh dear.  Let’s see if some magic lotion can make that feel better.”  

Dipping a cotton wool ball into some Detol solution, I dabbed the injured spot and carried on the conversation.

“How has your day been, apart from your scratch?  Has it been going ok?”

My patient nodded as he watched me put a plaster over the hard-to-find scratch-ed.

“What have you been learning about today?”  

The patient’s face screwed up in thought – straining to remember the goings-on of the morning.

“Have you been doing any reading or writing?”  I prompted.

“Yes, I been doing some writing.”  Gosh, five year olds are cute.

“Well, that’s very good.  And tell me, what do you think you want to be when you grow up?”

“Umm…. “, face screwed up again in thought.  “A fireman and an engineer!”

“You do?”  I answered, most impressed by his ambitions.  “I bet you would be great at either of those two things.  Those are very clever jobs, and I can tell you are a very clever boy indeed.  And very brave!”

Plaster on, details recorded.  

“There you go, my love.  Pop back to class now.  Lovely to see you and you have yourself a wonderful rest of the day.”

It has been my great privilege to have many such conversations this year, as I’ve tended to children in the sickbay at the school where I’ve worked.

Although mine was an administrative role, it came with plenty of opportunities to interact with the students, either over the front desk or in that little sickbay.  It was the part of the job I loved best,  because every encounter provided a chance to encourage.

In the staff room a few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a very important person at the school, whom I will call Mr Fromage, because he likes to make cheese.  We were discussing the power of words, both to build up and to tear down.

Mr Fromage described that power in a way that I will always remember.

He said “It’s what I call a Trust Bank.  Each time you give a word of encouragement to someone, it’s as though you are depositing one dollar into their Trust Bank.  Slowly, over time, the deposits build up.  But whenever you speak a harsh word or give criticism, it’s like a fifty dollar withdrawal.  And it takes quite a bit more time to build up that person’s Trust Bank again.

This is so true in relationships, particularly between adults and children.  But in fact, it is true no matter what age we are.  Words are incredibly powerful.  Life is often not easy and a word of encouragement can make such a difference.

Mr Fromage has certainly been a great encouragement to me and although my work at the school has now ended, the deposits he has made into my Trust Bank have definitely increased the balance.

I read a book many years ago called The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.  It’s one of those “what’s your personality?” type books, which seem to do the rounds every now and again.  But I reckon this one is pretty helpful.  Well, it has been to me anyway.

It talks about the way in which people either receive or express love.  The author says there are basically five love languages:

• Quality Time
• Acts of Service
• Words of Affirmation
• Physical Touch
• Receiving Gifts

While everyone benefits from all five of these love languages, there will usually be one or two which are top of the list for each person.

Words of Affirmation is right up there on my list.  No surprises there, for those who know me well.  I certainly appreciate encouragement and affirmation, and that’s probably why I also try to give it as much as I can.  (Physical touch is another biggie for me.  So if I’ve squished you and you haven’t really appreciated it, I do apologise!)

While I know that a kind word is going to be more significant to some than to others, I still hold to the belief in the power that a word can have.  We have to be careful with what we say.  Once a word is spoken, it can never be unspoken.  But a kind word said at just the right time, might be something that significantly changes a life for the better.

So thank you Mr Fromage, for your example, both in word and in deed.

That school is very lucky to have you.  May your Trust Bank be ever over-flowing!  And may your cheese-maker arms be free from scratch-eds.

Au revoir et que Dieu vous bénisse.

Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit. Proverbs 15:4