Close friends of ours are house-hunting at the moment.  They are a busy young family who are wanting just a bit more space as their children approach their teenage years.  We have gone along to some open homes with them over the last few weeks and I’ve been fascinated to note how the houses have been staged for sale.  They are all spotlessly clean of course, they smell of pleasant, store-bought home fragrances, and are impressively free from everyday clutter.  (Where is it all hidden, I wonder – in a container off-site, in a parent’s garage?)  In particular, I’ve been fascinated by the amount of pillows involved!

I generally use one pillow to sleep with (particularly after reading that the higher one’s pillow is the more likely one is to develop neck wrinkles – eeek!), but I do have a second pillow that goes on top during the day and which matches the duvet cover.  This also keeps things in balance with Clive’s side of the bed, as he sleeps with two pillows – and he will no doubt never, ever develop neck wrinkles because that’s just one of the many benefits that comes with being male.  And one day I shall write a whole piece about the unfairness of that!  But I digress.  Back to pillows.

I have now learnt how it’s meant to be done.

• One pillow for each head. 
• One pillow on top of each of those pillows.
• Behind each of those stacks, a large square (officially known as European) pillow – standing upright against the headboard or wall.
• In front of the stacks, one but preferably two or three more pillows, heading down towards the centre of the bed.
• The pillows meet up with, almost but not completely, a throw or two which are placed along the end of the bed – but not quite at the end of the bed.

Please see Exhibits A and B…

Whew!  This makes for quite a busy bed.  It does look nice though, particularly when the colours and fabrics all work in together.  But practical?  Hmm, not so much.  

It reminds me of a scene from that cute movie – Along Came Polly.  Polly and I are in agreement on the whole pillow thing.

https://www.facebook.com/comedycentraluk/videos/a-different-kind-of-pillow-talk-movies/820782558693553/

Now, I totally accept that presenting a house for sale is a whole science in itself.  And the way a house is presented is often an integral part of a successful sale.  But it did make me think about show homes versus real homes, and what we are happy to show the world.

I much prefer a tidy home.  I can even get quite grumpy if things get too untidy.  I do have a suspicion though, that it might have something to do with my brain being so cluttered and chaotic.  If my surrounding area is at least somewhat pleasantly organised, I seem to think a lot more clearly!

My pride also comes into play here, big time.  If we have arranged to have people over, I will usually spend quite a bit of time cleaning and putting things away (sometimes even hiding things in unusual places – just to give the illusion of a tidy, sorted-out space!).  If people drop by, I feel embarrassed if my house is cluttered, untidy and not sparkly clean.  I find it hard to let people see my more realistic state of affairs. I prefer them to see only what I prefer them to see.

Yet, I am very happy to spend time in other people’s homes, where there is happy clutter about and real life going on.  In fact, I usually feel a lot more comfortable being in houses like that.  My Mum made a comment years ago that has stuck with me.  She said she also likes a bit of stuff about, and much prefers houses where you can sit down on the couch and pick up a book that’s been left on the coffee table.

So what’s best?  A show home?  Or a real home – one with a bit of mess and some unfinished projects, with love, acceptance and also tough stuff.  Good smells and bad smells.  Can a visitor sit down and feel comfortable on my couch, or will they be nervous about displacing the cushions and leaving an indent?

And to be even more deep and meaningful, what am I happy to show the world about myself?  We all put on fronts just to get through the day.  We can’t be baring our souls to the whole world all the time.  But people like to hear about mess, because they relate to it (at least that’s what I read recently, and I tend to agree).  I have a poster at home that says “Be kind.  Everyone you meet is going through a hard time.”  Yep, I think that’s true too.

So, as in the movie, where the free-spirited Polly tries to liberate poor Reuben from the bondage of having a zillion display pillows, I too reckon we sometimes need to be liberated from the bondage of having staged lives.  There’s a lot of freedom in just being real, although it’s not always easy.  And it involves a bit of pride-swallowing, well for me anyway.  But I’m going to keep working on it  (even if I have added European pillows to my “AirBnB To Buy” list – ssshhh!).