I am quite a judgemental person, or at least I have definitely been so in the past.  It is not an attractive trait to possess and one that I have been trying to remedy.

These days, if I realise I’m starting to judge someone, I try to stop and pull my head in a bit.  I remind myself that I quite possibly don’t have a full understanding of the situation.  I probably don’t know the complications and struggles that are going on in that person’s life.  I haven’t been where they have been.  I haven’t walked in their shoes.

Changing vocations several times over the last few years has definitely provided some food for thought in this regard.

I clearly remember waiting for my takeaway coffee order one day.  I was at a local cafe and it was a busy weekend morning.  I remember becoming quite frustrated as the time ticked by.

“Gosh, they’re so slack”, I remember thinking of the staff, as I sighed and shuffled around a bit to display my impatience.  I had probably only been waiting ten minutes or so, but I felt completely justified in my annoyance.  I had places to go and here they were being, in my view, so slow with my takeout order.

Earlier today, I was sitting at that very same cafe but this time with a very different attitude.

Around five years ago, I myself began working at a cafe, and my goodness me what a lesson it was to be on the other side of the counter.  Until that point, I had no idea how frantic working in hospitality could be (well, apart from a job at McDonald’s during high school, but that was nothing compared to this).

On the other side of the counter you get to see the eternal line of coffee order tabs, the barista scanning that line to work out which shots he will need to do and in what order, what type of milk he must use (there are so many different kinds now, each needing their own jug) and what takeaways need their sugars added, all the while attempting to smile and engage in conversation with the waiting customers.  Hopefully there will be a staff member available to deliver the in-house orders when he calls, or else he’ll have to leave his pressured post and deliver them himself, using up precious minutes.

Never again will I sigh and tap my foot impatiently when waiting for a meal at a cafe or restaurant.  I know now how fast kitchen staff have to work to get food on plates and how tricky it is to work out timings.  I know how three minutes to poach an egg can seem like an eternity when you have all other plates ready to serve, but then the “with a poached egg on top” egg fails, so you have to poach another one – hoping, even praying that this one doesn’t fail too. And meanwhile, the cream on the sweet waffle dish is beginning to melt!   I know what happens if that blessed waffle machine hasn’t been sprayed with quite enough oil, or if it is mistakenly opened before the waffle is quite set.  It ain’t pretty, believe me. Oh the havoc that can cause!  Or when, for some reason, everyone on the same day seems to have a hankering for the salmon and then the poor person on the till has to cope with the sighs and tut-tutting of the person who misses out and seems to take it as a personal insult.  And these are mere drops in a large, overflowing bucket when it comes to the stresses of life behind a hospo counter.  There are loads of joys too, a ton of them in fact, or else I wouldn’t be heading back.  But being on the other side of the counter has certainly cured me of being that judgy, sighing toe-tapper at food joints.

I’ve also been that rather brassed-off client at the end of the phone who, when things haven’t quite gone my way, might not have actually said anything rude but still very purposely let my tone relay to the poor employee that I was NOT at all impressed to find that the world did not revolve around myself and my preferred time frame. 

There is no excuse for this.  The person taking calls in such situations is often not at all responsible for the issue that has upset the likes of grumpy old me.  And there may well have been one or even a series of unfortunate events that led to the outcome I was unhappy with.   How did my unpleasant tone make that person feel?  I doubt that it brightened his day – quite the opposite in fact.

I worked in a hospital laboratory for many years.  Clinicians would constantly be ringing to chase up results.  They were only concerned about the welfare of their patients, and understandably so.  Their diagnosis and treatment depended on the information that our results would give them.  But the results were gained by growing cultures, which often took many days.  Then extraction needed to take place, slides made and examined, and the results checked and processed.  I didn’t carry out this fascinating process.  I merely supported those wonderful scientists by carrying out the required administration and answering the phone calls from concerned clinicians, some of whom could get quite annoyed at any perceived delay.   But delays in results were never a case of the scientists being slack.  Theirs was a heavy burden and I saw the stress take its toll on them many times over.  I would have had no idea of the complications or stress involved if I hadn’t spent time on that side of the laboratory door.

Then again, if I was a patient anxiously awaiting a lab result that would determine the best treatment for my serious health issue, would I want my doctor to do all she could to hurry that result along?  You bet I would.  Thankfully, I have not had to wear those shoes yet.

Another job in a medical centre gave me a better understanding of what it is like to spend your days dealing with people who are often unwell or unhappy.  And it has also taught me that it is not the receptionist’s fault that I can’t see my preferred doctor at my preferred time.  

Working in a school gave me a new respect for the challenges faced by today’s teachers.  Schools are very complex worlds, within an increasingly complex world.

And my brief stint as a gardener has now resulted in me wanting to salute every single outdoor worker I see, as I drive past them in my air conditioned and water-tight vehicle.  Working outside in the elements is TIRING!  And the whole needing-the-bathroom thing – let’s just say that from now on, if I ever have contractors come to my house, I will make sure to let them know that my bathroom is available for them to use whenever they need it.  It is something I had never thought of before, until I didn’t have a bathroom door to be on the other side of – FOR THE ENTIRE DAY!! 

So hopefully I’m a little less judgy now than I was a decade or so ago,  And I certainly have a greater appreciation of a well-poached egg and any employment that includes an easily accessible loo!